How to Deal with Failure?
Laiba Muhammad Aamir
In primary schools, we are all taught the story of a spider that tries again and again to weave a web. The purpose of that story was to make us learn that one should keep on trying again and again unless one achieves one’s goal. It intended to teach us that in our future life, we will face such failures that will be hard for us to overcome but we must not forget that the success lies in trying wholeheartedly. That story aimed to make us know that whether it is a rejection at an office or a failure in a test, we must keep on giving that another best shot. Most of the people suffer from severe depression after a flop. They stop struggling because they consider there is nothing left. Such people let the failure decide their life and they get entrapped in a devastating situation for a lifetime.
In such situations, there is always a need for mind counselling. These dejected people must be stopped from getting ensnared in unhealthy competitions. Moreover, they must be made to watch talk shows which discuss that failure provides opportunity. Similarly, there should be some written pieces made available for them that tell how to overcome failure. It is a known fact that failure cannot be avoided unless one avoids doing anything at all.
Following are the three ways that may help you to reduce the pain of the defeat, and to start striving again.
- Accept your flaws
Instead of trying to be absolutely perfect (which is never achievable), we must start finding beauty in imperfections. Everyone has flaws but some people pretend as if they are faultless because they want to give hard time to others. They are those who feed on the miseries of others. They disturb the peace of society by letting others think that their flaws are no less than a sin.
If a person wants to become a “someone” in life, he needs to accept his flaws. Embracing one’s flaws does not mean living with them forever but it means having the courage to fix them. In the same way, when a person fails, he blames his imperfect self and never tries to correct it. Working on one’s weak points changes them into one’s strength. Once you face your flaws, you grow.
For example, if you have slow handwriting and the time required to complete a paper is less than the time you require, you must accept the truth that you need to work harder to speed up your handwriting. Do not run away from it. The courage to face one’s weak side lets those things happen that one could have ever imagined.
A Chinese philosopher once said, “Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.” When you hold this truth firmly, you create a nurturing environment around you. You become stronger and confident and in this way, the universe provides all the success that you aim.
- Stop caring about the people who judge you
One thing that hurts the most and that stops from making any effort is the look of people that is full of judgments and opinions. You must stop caring about the people who judge you by your mistakes. Such people keep reminding us of our failure as if that were the end of life. They do not know that it was a learning opportunity and it broadened the horizon of the mind to embrace and assimilate to more ideas.
When a mistake is committed, it is the universe teaching in a different way. People who measure people by their failures with their own ‘standard’ yardstick have nothing better to do. You should not get their views on nerves but rather learn to control emotions. When such people pass comments, it is not about you; it is about their narrow outlooks, insecurities and limitations. Their thinking only reaches how you failed. But, they can never imagine how far you can go—and you will!
Sometimes, people get over the frustrating feelings of their failure, but others’ minds are stuck in there. They decide that growth is not possible without failure. Success in life demands to learn that those people who judge cannot see the potential in you for doing wonders. Oppositely, those people who understand what you are capable of, do not judge you.
For this reason, it is wise to stay as far as possible from those who doubt your abilities. Surround yourself with those well-wishers who do not make you feel guilty each time you fail, but see it as a milestone in your journey towards growth and success.
- Motivate yourself
Instead of crying over a miscarriage, you need to get up immediately and be your own motivator. It is one stupid thing to wait for others to give you a forward push. You must feel confident in the truth that you are enough for yourself. Accepting this truth, believe me, does magic.
One thing that really works in this regard is to sit in a relaxed way and have a one-to-one conversation with yourself. You need to make yourself understand that you know your talent, and no one else does. Now, when you have failed, you know what you need to work on and you know what motivates you. Converting failure into a victory requires managing one’s self.
Another thing that will help in self-motivating is to avoid distractions; be it toxic people, unhealthy food, unnecessary talk or over-thinking about the negative aspects of your life. It is better to leave all those things behind that cause discouragement.
Similarly, success comes in life when stop procrastinating. What’s done is done already. Whatever you have been through, you have already gone through it. You need to start working all over again. Even a building needs to construct from ashes; it must be built without wasting time. Once the journey away from failure and towards success starts, it motivates its passengers with every step they take towards a destination.
Also, instead of blaming your fate for the failure, you must start taking responsibility for whatever the result you faced or about to face. It will help in working with true dedication.
In conclusion, life is such a beautiful journey. It does not deserve to be destroyed by just one failure. It has a lot more that is waiting to be achieved. As Winston Churchill said, “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity, but the optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.” Instead of crying over what has passed, an honest and loyal struggle can create better than what is being missed. Success and failure go hand in hand. In order to achieve one, another cannot be neglected. For this reason, the secret of a blessed and satisfying life lies in the fact that we must accept failure with dignity and keep on trying instead of giving up.